Cuffed & Collared Read online

  He lowered his gaze. “I’m not sure I can live with things being that way. I never have before.”

  “With respect to us, to the extent there is an us, you can make whatever decision you want. The investigation, however, is another matter. Stay out of it, Kyle. I’ll—I’ll try to keep you apprised of my progress to the extent that I’m allowed to talk about it without compromising anything. That’s all I can promise.”

  He looked at her and nodded, although whether he was agreeing to obey her order to stay out of the investigation, she couldn’t say. Standing to one side, he opened the door for her.

  “Good night, and thank you, Mistress Regan, for your company this evening.” She acknowledged his thanks with a nod of her head and moved to pass him. His arm shot out to block her way again. “And there is an us, just so you know.”

  “We’ll see.” She ducked under his arm and left.

  Chapter Five

  Weird. Regan’s life had definitely become weird within the last forty-eight hours, and hunting down her first serial killer wasn’t even the biggest part of the weirdness. Kyle Ramsey was. No, that wasn’t completely true. Her reaction to him and the way she had suddenly embraced this bizarre Femdom lifestyle was what was throwing her for a loop.

  The way she had slipped into what was supposed to be an undercover role so easily at his condo last night was disturbing. Part of it had been temper. His insistence on chasing down his friend’s killer still made her blood boil. How much arrogance could one man have? Didn’t he see the stupidity of an average citizen trying to do a cop’s job? She had wanted to make him listen to her, and the only way she had been able to gain his attention so far was with a beating.

  So, teaching him a lesson was part of it, but she didn’t have to go to such lengths to deliver her professional message. A stern lecture and threats of arrest should have sufficed. That route wouldn’t have satisfied the other emotion welling up inside her, however. Desire, that was the fuel stoking her high-handedness and enticing her to play the role of a Domme. And, Kyle, damn him to hell, hadn’t told her to piss off. Instead, he had let her do what she wanted to him and liked it.

  Weird was too mild a word for it all. It was frightening, this new wish to control a man. Sure, she liked to be in charge at work, but she had always thought she was an egalitarian in her love life, such as it was. Maybe she had been fooling herself all these years. Maybe she was a domineering bitch from birth. The thought made her squirm in her chair, although she checked the movement quickly. She didn’t want to invite any lewd comments from the cops around her. They would see it as a sign of horniness, and they would be right. She hadn’t gotten herself off last night when she arrived home, because she had told Kyle the truth. She wanted him to do it when she decided it was time.

  She was sinking in deep with this guy, fast, and she wasn’t even sure it was ethical given that he was a witness in a murder investigation.

  “Hey, partner, how come you’re not out beating men?” JoJo plopped herself down on the corner of Regan’s desk, a plastic bottle of diet Coke in her hand.

  Regan looked up from under her eyelashes. “Please, respectable men don’t like being dominated before lunch time. I have to be there by noon.”

  “I hope you get more customers today,” JoJo teased.

  Regan rolled her eyes. Besides Kyle, she’d had two other sessions with much older men, both of whom really reveled in her dominance of them, as if they were putting on some kind of tacky play. Because they’d been overacting, she had as well and had worked hard not to laugh herself silly. Needless to say, there was no repeat of the aroused state she achieved with Kyle.

  “I’ll be happy if I have a chance to speak with some of the other women who work there. They were too busy yesterday for more than a quick hello, and none of them struck me as the chatty type, either. I’d better get there a little early and see what I can learn while we’re all getting dressed.”

  JoJo took a long drink from her bottle. “Do you think one of them is the killer?”

  “It’s possible, but my gut is telling me it would be too easy. Hopefully, I can at least pick their brains and understand better what our killer is thinking. What makes these women want to hurt men?” What makes me want to hurt Kyle? Regan thought it, then put it aside. She couldn’t afford to become engrossed in her own issues while on duty.

  “Well, I have somewhere for us to go this morning that may help us understand what motivates the men and the women,” her partner said.

  “Where?”

  “I found a doctor right here in town who specializes in sexual fetishes. Her name’s Greta Molvado.”

  “Greta?” Regan repeated skeptically before reaching over and snatching her partner’s Coke out of her hand. She slurped down some of the drink, making a face at the bitter taste of artificial sweetener.

  JoJo tossed her a mock-peeved look. “Dr. Molvado is a psychologist with a private practice. She has graciously agreed to fit us into her schedule this morning.”

  Regan handed the bottle back. “When?”

  “In about twenty minutes.”

  “Let’s go then.” Regan stood up and unhooked her jacket from the back of her chair. “This ought to be interesting. Five bucks says this Greta looks like Frau Blucher.”

  ****

  The doctor’s office was located in a downtown building dedicated to medical professionals of all kinds. Other than the woman’s name, there was no indication that a psychologist for the sexually adventurous practiced inside. When Regan and JoJo entered, they were greeted by a young woman with large, Bambi-like eyes. She stood up from behind her receptionist’s desk and tucked her frizzy blonde hair behind her ears in a nervous gesture.

  “Good morning,” she said in a squeaky voice. “You must be Sergeant Malloy and Detective Mathers.”

  “Yes, we are,” Regan replied. “Dr. Molvado is expecting us.”

  “Of course. I’ll let her know you’re here.”

  The young woman—Mindy, according to her desk plate—walked around her work station to knock on an inner door. The plain and timid creature was wearing a high-necked paisley dress that made her look flat-chested and almost boyishly slender. It was as if she had stepped off the prairie only moments ago, and while her movements were graceful, her flat shoes barely left the carpet as she walked across it.

  JoJo looked at Regan and crossed her eyes. Her expression implied she, like Regan, was wondering how this kid had ended up working for a sex therapist.

  There was a delicate throat clearing. “The doctor will see you now.”

  Regan and JoJo turned toward the receptionist and headed for the open door beside her. “Thank you,” Regan said to the young woman and gave her a smile.

  Mindy offered back the same gesture. She stood stock still while the two cops passed her, however, her hands clasped in front. Regan noticed they were the only part of the receptionist that seemed the least bit substantial. They would certainly be good for spanking a man, she mused, and then she turned her attention to the woman she had come to speak with.

  “Good morning, Sergeant, Detective.”

  Doctor Molvado greeted them with a broad smile and a hint of excitement. She strode toward them with her hand outstretched for a shake. Unlike her receptionist, Molvado was neither timid nor mousy. Her black hair was cut very short, and the make-up on her beautiful face was bold. She looked like a runway model both with the chic suit she was wearing and the body it encased. Normally, Regan didn’t spend a second envying other women, but Dr. Molvado was too stunning to ignore.

  “I’m Sergeant Malloy,” Regan said, shaking hands and admiring the other woman’s firm grip as well. “This is my partner, Detective Mathers.”

  “Yes, we spoke on the phone.” The doctor turned her attention to JoJo. “Shall we sit down?” She led them to a part of her office that was furnished with comfy chairs and a coffee table.

  On the way over, Regan pulled a five dollar bill out of her pocket and handed it
off to JoJo, who took it with a restrained grin. They both sank into a plush seat and waited for the doctor to take her own before Regan began the interview.

  “I know my partner has told you we’re interested in learning about Femdom, both from the woman’s perspective and the man’s.”

  The doctor spent a few seconds giving them an appraising look before answering. “Yes, Detective Mathers and I spoke a bit about your areas of interest, although she didn’t mention why you’re interested.”

  Regan gave the standard reply. “I’m afraid we’re not at liberty to discuss exactly why we’re seeking this information, because it would compromise an investigation.”

  The doctor’s eyes flashed with humor. “I feel like I’m on TV or in the movies. But I do understand the seriousness of your position. And, because I keep up with the local news and have been adding two and two together now for quite some time, I assume this has something to do with the horrific murder of Joseph Bennington.”

  There was something about Molvado’s expression and the way she did her math so quickly and accurately that caused Regan’s suspicions to rise. “Possibly. Did you know Mr. Bennington?”

  “Now, I’m afraid I’m the one who is going to have to demure, Sergeant, although I suppose there is no harm in confirming that the man was a patient of mine at one time.”

  In unison, Regan and JoJo leaned forward.

  “He was?” Regan asked. This was not something they had known. Nothing in Bennington’s personal papers had kicked out a connection to Molvado, so that must mean he was either paying in cash or—

  “He hasn’t been in over a year,” the doctor confirmed before Regan could ask, which explained why evidence of the relationship wasn’t immediately available. There hadn’t been time to dig further into the man’s background.

  “He came here because he was into Femdom, though,” Regan pressed.

  The doctor sighed and gave a tight smile. “I really can’t comment on why he was here unless you get a court order.” She shrugged. “Of course, I only specialize in sexual issues, so you can draw your own conclusions.”

  Yes, they could. The trip to the doctor’s office had just become more interesting. She asked the logical next question. “What about a man named Eugene Morales? Was he your patient, too?”

  “Yes, very briefly,” Molvado admitted with obvious reluctance.

  “How briefly?”

  “He came to see me only once. I probably wouldn’t have even remembered it, except that when I heard about his murder, the name sounded familiar, and I looked it up in my files.” The woman shifted her legs, crossing one over the other.

  In that brief moment, Regan was able to see that the good doctor wore thigh-highs stockings as Regan was forced to do with her Dominatrix outfit. And, like Regan as well, there was nothing else under the skirt. Regan registered the detail with interest before focusing on the doctor’s next words.

  “And, that’s all I’m prepared to say about it. Again, if you want to see the files, you’ll have to get a court order, although I warn you I’ll fight the idea based on physician/patient confidentiality.”

  “Why?” JoJo asked. “These men are dead, and we’re trying to find their killer.”

  “I understand, Detective, however this is an important point for doctors, and I honestly can say that there’s nothing in those files about a possible killer. Neither of these men mentioned being threatened in any way.”

  Probably not, and yet here was another connection to the two men besides Club Nemesis. Molvado would have to be looked into as a possible suspect. She certainly fit the part of a Domme, at least in Regan’s mind. So she’d interview the woman with that in mind but make it seem like they were after generic information about the practice of female domination.

  “We appreciate your giving us that much information,” Regan assured the doctor to ease the mounting tension. “Although it is interesting that both of these men came to you for therapy, I guess it’s also true that given their predilections and the fact that you are one of the few doctors around dealing with sexual fetishes, I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised at the connection.”

  “No, you shouldn’t,” Molvado replied with obvious relief. “I really do wish to help you, of course. What can I tell you generically about the people I treat?”

  Regan forced herself to sit back again and adopt a relaxed air. JoJo, being quick on her feet and well used to her partner’s signals, did the same. “Tell us why men like Bennington and Morales seek out women to hurt them. What makes them want to lead a Femdom lifestyle?”

  “There really isn’t an answer to that question, at least not one that covers all men into the lifestyle. Why don’t we back up a second and talk about the various ways in which this type of behavior comes out and the possible labels. For example, you keep asking about Femdom, which means female dominance, but there’s also bondage and discipline and sadomasochism.”

  Regan grimaced. “If a guy likes to be tied up and beaten by a woman, what are we talking about?”

  “To a certain degree, all three. It depends on the person involved, and actually the label doesn’t matter so much to me as a doctor. I’m concerned with helping those people who either want to become comfortable with their lifestyle, live it without guilt, or put it behind them and adopt a more conventional sex life.”

  “I’m confused,” JoJo confessed, and Regan was glad because she was confused, too.

  Molvado shifted again in her seat. “Okay, there are different levels of sexuality that involve pain, or simply humiliation, and dominance. For most of these people, it’s part of a rich fantasy sex life that they practice under tight controls and with people they trust. It’s a form of role-playing that spices things up for them in the bedroom. Sometimes a couple will switch off with each being dominant and submissive in turn. And it has nothing to do with their ordinary lives.”

  “Like playing the cheerleader and the gym teacher,” Regan offered up with a smirk.

  The doctor, however, was completely serious when she replied, “Exactly, or like playing headmistress and naughty student. It’s something lots of couples do without ever considering themselves to be sadomasochists or dominant or submissive. For others, though, it is a more pervasive part of their emotional being, and they incorporate the need to hurt or be hurt, or dominate or submit, into every aspect of their lives. They live the role, if you will.”

  “Like the men who frequent places like Club Nemesis,” Regan interjected. “For those men, it’s more than a casual thing, if only because it’s expensive as hell.”

  “Yes, I know of the club, of course. It’s a very reputable place, and the men who go there are not looking for sex. They’re looking for discipline. It’s one of the reasons why we can’t use the various terms completely interchangeably. Some men are so stressed about the lives they lead, the decisions they have to make, the authority they wield, that they need the release of letting someone else control their lives even for a little while. The punishment aspect is a form of absolution so they can live with any guilt or worry over the consequences of their decisions and actions.”

  “They do get aroused, though,” Regan pointed out because she had seen as much with her own eyes, and except for Kyle, she had found the reaction to her punishment unsettling and frankly, gross.

  “Naturally,” Molvado agreed with a shrug. “This frequently comes down to sex. Heterosexual men who crave domination don’t want to be dominated by other men. That would be threatening to their sexuality and their primate sense of hierarchy. If they want to be dominated by other men, they can achieve that through professional choices. They need women to do this for them. Some men need a woman to be in charge of their entire personal life, not simply once in a while. In those cases, what happens in the bedroom spills over into their daily lives.”

  “Bennington was reputedly domineering with women, to the point of breaking up his marriage,” Regan said.

  “It’s often like that. These men know
deep down what they want, but they fight it and can’t acknowledge it to the women in their lives even when they can admit it to themselves. Being naturally strong, dominating men in general society, they attract passive women without meaning to. It takes a particularly strong woman to break through the façade and take charge, exactly as the man wants her to.”

  “This makes no sense to me, Doctor Molvado,” JoJo exclaimed. “How can an otherwise alpha-type male want to be dominated by a woman in his private life?”

  “It’s a dichotomy that’s hard to fathom, I agree,” Molvado replied.

  A sick feeling crept into Regan’s stomach as she thought of a reason why. “It’s because they were abused as children, isn’t it?” Guilt over what she had done to Kyle and why he had let her put a hard edge to her voice.

  Molvado blinked at her in surprise. “Possibly. Many of my patients are dealing with childhood issues of abuse, as well as abusive relationships they became trapped in as adults. But just because a man likes to be dominated and punished by women, doesn’t necessarily mean that he was abused by his mother or another adult female in his childhood.”

  “It can, though, right?” Regan persisted. It made sense to her. It made a hell of a lot more sense than the idea that a strong man like Kyle Ramsey would like having her hurt him.

  “Yes, it can. There are plenty of men into Femdom, though, who simply crave the lifestyle for no discernable reason and live perfectly healthy psychological lives.”

  Regan heard the words but didn’t believe them. They still made no sense. And there was a flip side that was even harder to face. She did, though, because the investigation hinged on it. “What about the women? Why do they do it?”

  Molvado shrugged. “Some women are naturally dominating, and I mean that in a good way. You strike me as a strong woman, Sergeant.”

  JoJo stifled a chuckle that died with the withering look Regan shot her. “I don’t take crap from anyone if that’s what you mean.” Misery swamped her for a moment. Plus, I do like beating on guys, at least one guy.